Random Thoughts 09/21/2010

They say men don't change but I beg to differ, everything in life changes. Healthy bodies get sick, strong minds become weak and frail. Winter changes to fall fall changes and so on. If nature changes and men are part of nature why don't we change. A lot of women say that want a man like that father because that's who treats them the best. Understandibly so you dad wasn't like that when he was younger, he went through experience that shaped him into the man he is. Whether it was breaking someone's. heart, meeting the right girl that settled him down he changed.I don't act or think the same way it did when I was 12 or 21,I went from white tees to girbaus to coogi to polo now to suits. I found that reason to change and wether or not it benefits me with that person I have changed from a selfish shirt chasing magnet. To an intellectual, taking peoples feelings into consideration indivual. My change was seeing how love was supposed to be, its not a disney movie but merely when to indivuals give up that wall and barriers and become one and accept each other for what they are. A quote comes to mind when describing this. I like you for what you but I love you for what your not, that'sss love. I am ready for that again, let's get it. :)
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Pardon the Progess..Under Construction

Is it wrong that I see fault in myself through others, or that I dont like being smothered. My mind wants to be this guy that has all the girls etc, but my heart wants love and companionship. I am in a divide/ a crossroads of some sorts. Its crazy how you get so much love for everyone other than the person you want the praise from. You hear how you can make a girl so happy but to the person that it matters they dont see it. In my growth i have understand that i make mistakes and have a tad bit of immature and selfish standpoint but dont we all. Why not be selfish with something so sacred as the heart or why not immature when it comes to the powerfulness of love. I know alot of people that read this gonna be like Johnathan why are you opening up on a blog but I am merely letting go of my past on here. Trying to strive to become a better person, it a daily grind but its worth it. Today I saw one of the most liberating things i have seen in a long time. TRUE BLACK LOVE.. and it was beautiful and magical.. it was a blessing for my eyes... coming from a family where love wasnt present and always told to not show any emotion or my cards.. It was good to see a family that made up for all there shortcoming with a smile and love. It warmed my soul and heart to see the perfect picture created from the divine in the form of love..As I pondered I wondered, am i doing everything i can to show the people in my life that i love them and cherish them...I thought to myself would i want the baddest girls in the world or that one girl that i can come home to be secure and understand. As i further thought I started seeing the problem with relationships these days including myself.. I/we or so concerned about looking bad or making a mistake that we lose out on blessing.. No one can stand up on their on 2 in this crazy world but if two people lean on each other they can support each other and make it... I just want that love I saw today....cause with that i saw hope..I saw hope for me at least.In closing I think I am at the point now where I can be the man that GOD has destined for me...not saying I am not gonnna make mistakes but my heart is in the right place i think now. I just want that blessing and my bestfriend...wether or not I have found it..I will make sure it comes to past...If you a scared to fail you will never pass... and i need to remember that... I let twitter and Facebook dictate my thoughts and opinions instead of my heart and my mind. So easy I get caught up seeing someone type someone and instead of asking I just retaliate and I need to work on that.. Life is process just

make sure the way you are going is progress. and ima get better everyday.. See the potential in me and we cant fail.. cause I am a work in Progess

Every Peak will have two valleys,hopeful eyes in the comfort of true protection. And admiration of the heart of a child, that forever, Forever is to strive the peace of endearment.Forever is what I want with you..I am sometimes confused but I need the solution. to our solution. I just want to place my one grain a spirtual sand in your hand hope you put it in your heart. Getting into my 20's just trying to survive in this world, you start gaining age and experience and seeing for what all this is that we call our world. I not gonna question GOD blessings an old man told me Curiostiy killed the Catechism. In the end I know I want master this like tiger.. so its all about my drive to make this work.

've lived and I've learned
I have taken and I've earned
I have laughed, I've cried
I have failed and I have tried
Sunshine, pouring rain
found joy through all my pain
I just wanna be happy with being me and being with you

Random Thoughts

This maze I am in amazes me,sometime I wonder if I am crazy cause i feel like people dont get me. They see me actions as irresponsible and rude but what abt what I am trying to accomplish in the long run.. Tell me if u think something is wrong with me, if i have the girls of my dreams but I can make her trust me so I am limbo. I look at myself and wonder what is wrong with me...I can master a crowd and my commercial life but when i come to personal life I am a pigeon in the desert.. My biggest problem is letting my guard down...along with most guys i have a problem with communicating my feelings, some may see that as immaturity but i see it as a work in process.I know what i feel and what makes me happy but i dont know how to go about making the situation trust me. I never thought i would get to the point where i wanna settle all the way down but i think i am there. I look at life in a slower view now, I mean i still wanna go out and have fun but i just wanna get back to the simplicity of life again. I sometimes expect to much of situations and when i sense fear i run and put my wall up... but i think now i gotta make a change.. put it all on the line and let it go and if i lose i put everything into it and i can have any reegrets..I dont wanna fight, i just wanna love you and make it right...so why are we at war. I feel like love is a mustard seed planted by God and watered by men. I feel like the greatest happines in life is to love and feel love.I am not gonna lie girl i am in love with you and you are my world and without you I dont know what i would do without. You are the lighter to my flame, the one i want to have my last name, I am putting my ego out of order so maybe this our love can come closer to the border.I know the world gets colder over night but our love can warm the sun. We both aint where we need to be and i understand that..but anything worth having requires time and if we both dont have our balance and lean on each other we can make it and balance....I guess what I am asking for is a chance...not a guarantee but a chance to show that all men change once they find someone worth trying for... and you are that boo....all i can do is smile everytime i hear your name wether we talk or not these feelings to dissapear, so why try to hoodinni and just be here
Love is like magic

And it always will be.
For love still remains
Life's sweet mystery!!
Love works in ways
That are wondrous and strange
And there's nothing in life
That love cannot change!!
Love can transform
The most commonplace
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace.
Love is unselfish,
Understanding and kind,
For it sees with its heart
And not with its mind!!
Love is the answer
That everyone seeks...
Love is the language,
That every heart speaks.
Love can't be bought,
It is priceless and free,
Love, like pure magic,
Is life's sweet mystery